Not Done Yet · January – October 2027
Everything is fine.
And somewhere underneath all of it, there’s a persistent, nagging question: Is this really how I want to spend the rest of my life?
A nine-month immersive program for 20 men.
01 · The ache
Nothing is particularly wrong.
That’s part of what makes it hard to call out.
You have people you love. You do work that matters. Friends. A home. Things on the calendar you’re looking forward to.
There are nice dinners. Trips. Weekends away. Another project. Another goal. Maybe a new place, a new challenge, another experience taken on in an attempt to feel alive.
And a lot of it feels good.
And yet, underneath it all, there is that dull ache of dissatisfaction.
Not a crisis.
Just the sense that somehow you’re less alive inside your own life than you expected to be.
So you change something.
Accomplish something. Buy something. Plan a trip. Start a project. Push your body harder. Make more money. Chase another experience.
Sometimes it works. For a while. But it’s fleeting.
And when ordinary life returns, there’s that feeling again.
The years move by. Life slowly but steadily gets organized around maintaining what you’ve built, managing your responsibilities, finding enough stimulation to keep things interesting and looking forward to the next thing.
Nothing terrible happened.
It just got a little grey.
Meanwhile, your life is happening all around you
Your kids get older. Your parents get older. Your body changes. The marriage accumulates years. Another five years passes in the business. You delay… Then another five go by.
At some point, it becomes worth asking:
What is my life optimized for? What am I striving for?
And maybe more importantly:
Did I choose it? And do I still choose it now?
In his words
I felt stuck, like I kept hitting a glass ceiling where I wasn’t fully expressed, cycling through depression and anxiety, knowing more was possible for my life.
02 · The patterns that work
The tricky part is that your patterns often work. And your personality is sticky.
The responsible man gets rewarded for doing what he’s supposed to do.
The driven man gets things done.
The lone wolf doesn’t burden anyone.
The nice guy keeps the peace.
The smartest guy in the room can understand almost anything, but feels almost nothing.
The strongest guy in the room can carry an enormous amount.
These aren’t character defects.
They may be some of the qualities you value most about yourself. They may have helped you build your career, survive difficult years, care for your family and become someone other people can count on.
And they can still govern your life.
Responsibility becomes the inability to disappoint anyone.
Independence becomes the inability to need anyone.
Drive becomes the inability to stop.
Strength becomes the inability to fall apart.
Intelligence becomes a sophisticated way of avoiding deeper truth and deeper emotion.
Eventually the question becomes: Do I run this pattern, or does this pattern run me?
03 · Knowing is not the same as changing
You can understand your patterns and still be governed by them.
Eventually you can see yourself doing the thing while you’re doing it.
You know you’re avoiding the conversation.
You know you’re saying yes when you mean no.
You know you’ve disappeared into work again.
You know you’re trying to control the outcome.
You know you’ve checked out.
You know your heart is closed.
You may even understand exactly why you do it.
And there you are. Doing it again.
If insight and intellect were all it took, the dissatisfaction would be gone by now.
The mind can change remarkably quickly. Emotion is thicker. The body is thicker still.
The patterns we live inside aren’t only ideas. We’ve practiced them for decades, through thousands of small choices made so many times that we barely recognize them as choices anymore.
And… there are no new experiences inside these patterns.
If we want a new experience of life, we have to practice something else.
Because all the insight in the world won’t help much if we don’t practice.
Freedom
What if freedom is simply having another move available?
- If you can only say yes, you’re not free.
- If you can only eject, disappear or leave, you’re not free.
- If you always have to be the strong one, you’re not free.
- If you need to understand everything before you can act, you’re not free.
- If disappointing someone feels impossible, you’re not free.
- If your wife needs to change before you can change, you’re not free.
Freedom isn’t becoming some self-optimized superhuman.
Good luck with that.
It’s becoming increasingly able to see what’s happening, tell the truth about it and choose something other than the move you’ve made a thousand times before.
Who are you when you aren’t so busy being who you’ve learned to be?
What changed
We were on the brink of divorce, stuck in toxic resentment without the tools to express what was true.
“Through this work, we’ve learned new tools and ways of expressing that have opened up the possibility of really loving each other again.”
04 · Fully given
What would it mean to be fully given to your life?
Not a different life. This one.
Same marriage.
Same children.
Same work.
Same body.
Same friendships.
Same sex life.
The things you’ve been avoiding. The things you still want. The grief, anger or despair you haven’t fully felt. The conversations you know you need to have. The years you actually have.
Not Done Yet isn’t interested in helping you become a perfected version of yourself.
We’re interested in what happens when you become more available for the life that is already here.
More honest. More powerful. More tender. More fully expressed. More alive.
Because your life doesn’t begin when you finally get everything handled.
It’s happening now.
05 · The arc
Nine months. Not a weekend.
Tuesday matters
Why nine months.
There are experiences that can change you in an instant.
And then there’s Tuesday; the day after the retreat. After the high has worn off.
You go home.
Back to your marriage. Your kids. Your company. Your calendar. Your phone. Your habits.
Back to the places where your patterns were built in the first place.
We don’t see that as time off between the work.
It’s part of the work.
Not Done Yet unfolds over nine months because change needs repetition, pressure and grace.
We gather in person three times.
Between intensives, you go live your life.
We continue meeting. We practice. We pay attention to what’s stuck and what moves. What becomes clear. What you avoid. What your relationships reveal. Where you make a different choice and where you keep making exactly the same one.
Then we come back together.
Immersion→Life→Practice→Relationship→Integration→Immersion
The repetition matters.
So does being with the same men long enough that they actually come to know you.
06 · Not Done Yet
Your life is the raw material.
Not Done Yet is a nine-month immersive program for an intimate group of no more than 20 men.
There is curriculum. There are practices. There is facilitation.
But your life is the raw material.
Your marriage. Work. Children. Anger. Desire. Fear. Money. Sex. Responsibility. Grief. Conflict. Power. Uncertainty.
Whatever is alive for you comes into the work.
We aren’t interested in manufacturing catharsis or pushing men toward some predetermined emotional experience.
We’re interested in creating enough challenge, attention, relationship and space that something other than your personality gets a chance to show up.
Truth.Power.Freedom.Relationship.Embodiment.Practice.
07 · Three intensives
We gather three times in person.
I · January
Mendocino
January 21–25, 2027
California Coast
Five days together at the beginning of the nine-month arc.
II · May
Mt. Shasta
May 20–24, 2027
Northern California
We return four months later. Same men. More history. Less hiding.
III · September
Central Oregon / High Desert
September 22–27, 2027
Central Oregon
Six days together for our final in-person intensive.
The program concludes with a final integration and completion call in October.
08 · The men
You can’t see all of you by yourself.
Spend enough time with the same group of men and eventually they learn your tricks.
The joke you make when things get uncomfortable.
The moment you disappear.
The way you take care of everyone so nobody has the opportunity to take care of you.
The story you keep telling about your wife.
The things you insist don’t bother you.
You learn their tricks too.
This isn’t about men policing one another or constantly calling each other on their shit.
It’s about being in relationships deep enough to hold more truth.
Over nine months, something is made possible that cannot be manufactured in a weekend:
You become known.
Not just for the impressive parts.
That changes what brotherhood means.
Ian CollEntrepreneur · Men’s Coach · Husband · in the work since 2021
“I’ve historically been a lone wolf, so being in a space with men committed to their growth and willing to look at their shadows has helped me build trust.”
“The community is huge. Guys who can hold space, give sharp feedback, support me in love, and be my biggest cheerleaders.”
“Travis doesn’t hand you the answers. He pushes you to find them yourself. It’s not always easy, but that’s the point.”
09 · Facilitation
About Travis
I’ve spent a lot of my adult life interested in what actually creates change.
Not what creates a great weekend. Not what gives us another compelling explanation for why we are the way we are.
What changes the way a person actually lives and experiences their life?
That question has taken me through years of coaching, facilitation, men’s work, embodiment, relationship work, contemplative practice and my own ongoing experiments in being a human being.
I don’t believe my job is to tell another man who he should become.
I’m much more interested in creating the conditions where he can see more clearly what is true, recognize the places he isn’t free, and discover what becomes possible when he stops making the same move.
Not Done Yet grew out of that orientation.
It’s also work I am doing inside myself.
I’m not standing at the finish line urging you on.
Hence the name.
I trust Travis with my life. He creates a space that feels safe, truly supportive, and non-performative. He’s a master at his craft.
10 · The commitment
The commitment
When
January – October 2027 · 20 men
In person
January 21–25 · Mendocino, California
May 20–24 · Mt. Shasta, California
September 22–27 · Central Oregon / High Desert
Each month
2-hour Group Gathering + Teaching
1-hour Accountability / Wisdom Board
1-hour Optional Office Hours
Completion
Final integration and completion call in October.
If you’re seriously considering joining us, start with a conversation.
We’ll talk about where you are, what has you considering the program, what the year asks of you and whether Not Done Yet seems like the right fit.
If it does, we’ll invite you to enroll.
11 · Questions
Questions
What actually happens at an intensive?
Each intensive is four to six days away from ordinary life.
We do our work together, out loud. We practice. We spend time in wild places. We work individually, in pairs and as a group.
There is physical practice, silence, teaching, conversation, ritual, time on the land, good food and considerably more humour and levity than a website about serious men’s work might lead you to believe.
The specific work changes from intensive to intensive and from year to year.
We work with what is actually alive for the men in the room.
What kinds of things do we work with?
Your life is the curriculum.
For one man, the work may be finally owning his truth in his marriage.
For another, it may be recognizing that the business he built has become his prison.
It might be his relationship with his brother, father or son.
Anger. Grief. Resentment. Sexuality. Isolation. The need to be liked. The inability to ask for help. The thing he keeps blaming someone else for. The decision he has been circling for ten years.
We bring the work into contact with your life and see what actually shows up.
What happens between intensives?
Each month we meet online for:
Group Gathering + Teaching - 2 hours
Our primary monthly gathering for teaching, practice, conversation and working with what is happening in the group and in your lives.
Accountability / Wisdom Board - 1 hour
A deeper check-in about your life, your commitments, what you’re practicing, where you’re following through and where you’re not.
Office Hours - 1 hour, optional
Bring a question. Bring something you’re working through. Come listen. Use the time when you need it.
The online work isn’t intended to keep you endlessly occupied with the program.
You have a big, full life to live.
It’s there to keep a thread running through the nine months so that what happens in an intensive doesn’t become something you once experienced at a retreat.
Who comes to Not Done Yet?
There isn’t one type.
The men tend to be established in their lives. Many are founders, executives, entrepreneurs, professionals, creatives or leaders. Many are husbands and fathers.
Some have done years of therapy, coaching, meditation or men’s work.
Some haven’t.
You don’t need a particular vocabulary or spiritual orientation.
You do need some willingness to look at yourself, be challenged, experiment, be wrong, let other men know you and actually participate.
Who is Not Done Yet not for?
Not Done Yet may not be a fit if you’re primarily looking for networking, a single peak experience, a quick reset or someone to tell you exactly how to live your life.
The work requires time, attention, financial commitment and a willingness to be affected by other people.
Twenty men is small enough that participation matters.
Is Not Done Yet therapy?
No.
Not Done Yet is an educational and experiential personal-development program. It can involve emotionally significant material, but it is not psychotherapy, medical care or mental-health treatment.
If you need clinical support, we’ll encourage you to have appropriate support outside the program.
Do I need experience with men’s work?
No.
Some men arrive with years of experience in men’s groups, therapy, coaching, meditation or embodiment. Others don’t.
You don’t need to know the language. Curiosity, willingness and participation matter considerably more.
How physically demanding are the intensives?
You should expect to move your body and spend time outdoors, but Not Done Yet is not a boot camp or endurance event.
We work with different bodies, ages and physical capacities. If you have a limitation or concern, bring it up during your enrollment conversation.
What if I miss an online call?
Life happens.
We expect you to treat the program as a real commitment while recognizing that work, family and emergencies occasionally intervene.
The three in-person intensives are a much more significant commitment. If you already know you cannot attend one, discuss that with us before enrolling.
Are travel and accommodation included?
No.
Tuition does not include transportation to the three intensives or accommodations during them. We’ll provide logistical information well in advance so you can make arrangements.
Are payment plans available?
Yes.
Tuition is $17,900 USD. A $2,000 deposit is due upon enrollment, and payment-plan options are available.
How do I know if I’m a fit?
Start with a conversation.
You don’t need to convince us that you’re ready, and we’re not interested in convincing you to join.
We’ll talk about what’s happening in your life, what you’re looking for and what the program asks of you.
Then we’ll decide whether it makes sense to continue.
12 · Final invitation
Everything might actually be fine.
Maybe you have a good life.
Maybe there isn’t a crisis to solve.
Maybe the question is whether you’re willing to let the rest of your life be determined by the patterns, priorities and versions of yourself that got you this far.
You don’t need to know exactly what comes next.
But if there’s something in you that knows you’re not done yet, we should talk.
Not sure yet? Have a conversation first